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"What a big lottery win you have, Grandma."

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

Dynamite little combo

Camel rider sees sign stating: The Next Mirage 16 miles.

Hansel and Gretal

"Apparently the Ebola virus can make your ears bleed."

'Your drug test came back positive. Welcome aboard.'

'On second thought dear, I think it's your turn to make breakfast.'

Internet Cafe.

'At midnight, we go over the wall.'

'Could you guys play a slow number so my gal and I can dance?'

Two boys eating ice cream

'I have Tourette's, and they play backup.'

Grim's Fairytales

"If they shorten political campaigns, what will we do for entertainment?"

'We've had an application from No.10 Downing Street. . . they need to extend their cabinet room.'

"I don’t see how confirming who I like best will help this situation."

Friends and champagne

'Do I drink to excess? My dear, I drink to ANYTHING!'

"In the Game of Life, my son, the fix is in."

At least Sunday is still a holy day.

Look out, you're sitting on a worm!

"I don't have a good ear. I should really invest in an air guitar tuner."

Romulus and Remus plot to prevent their mother from appearing at the official opening of Rome.

Artwork in a gallery still has wet paint.

'Ok, I've gotta ask..do you actually like this job?'

'We really should ask the driver of that car for tips on coping with twins.'

"You're dragging the beat."

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