Brother With Kids Pillows

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

'Ahhh...'

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

Collies Without Borders

'Don't leave baby alone with this really cool tiny phone. It's a choking hazard.'

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

"He sits there all day waiting to chase the email man."

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

"And for dessert, I'd like the mice pudding."

'Still having problems finding a baby sitter?'

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

"We get fantastic indoor facilities during the cold months."

Fat Kid 31- Pet slug runs amok

"Being a parent is like being in prison. . . except we don't get the hour of exercise."

People with pet dogs in a dog park with workout equipment for dogs.

'You sure your dad won't mind if we use his silicone spray?'

Dog Walking and Child Walking.

'He's a son-of-a-bitch but he's our son-of-a-bitch!'

"Going to the beach with kids Sand in eyes, food, crevices Chasing after them with sun cream Frantically checking they haven't been kidnapped or swept out to sea Enjoying it"

'Amazing, isn't it? - And she's never taken a parenting class.'

Sound Advice

'You reckon your Pram' will do 'nought to four miles per hour in ten seconds'...I wasn't born yesterday, you know!'

"Sorry I'm late, the crosstown is running local."

Mummies and babies having a natter over lunch.

Argument between Disposable or Washable Nappies

Car sticker reads: "Child on board. Keep Your Distance - wish we could."

"Yecch! How can something so sweet put out something so yucky?"

'Of course you can hear a rattle!'

'OK, Mr. Altruism, real fast, name three selling points of loyalty that don't involve food.'

A dog is for life, not just for Covid.

You dropped something.

"Quick, act casual."

Doggy $100 and don't ask again.

"And the important thing is to make sure you wake them up every hour during the night."