Broccoli Lover Gifts

"How come portion control doesn't apply to broccoli?"

Introducing Brocco. The world's first broccoli-flavored liqueur!

"Always eat your broccoli."

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

But is it organic?

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

'Congratulations on your 100% plant-based diet. I'm referring you to a botanist.'

"Something's wrong with the broccoli. Please take it back to the kitchen and have it genetically modified."

Advocado

The discovery of asparagus.

At the market

"His mother had a great influence on him. She always made him eat his fruits and vegetables."

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

'What are you eating now?'

'Bless this food we are about to receive, all except the broccoli. Bless the apple pie twice.'

'Is your cabbage diet working darling?'

'Thank you waiter - my wife's the rabbit.'

"I have an idea. How about I don't have to eat broccoli until I learn how to spell it."

"What!?! I like a nice salad every now and then, too. What of it?"

'I'm in the amusingly shaped vegetables department.'

"The lettuce I paid with was fresher than the lettuce I bought."

"Florets! How lovely, I'd better put them in some boiling water."

"No thanks, mom. I don't think I'll have any broccoli short cake."

Vegetarian Birthdays.

'She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me...'

Runner Bean...

'He's all eyes!'

'I wouldn't bother. They're probably gluten-free vegetarians.'

'Radford, go in for Bloom. ... Uh-uh-uh! Finish your vegetables first!'

Tree's Tree Nursery. Get this. Dad is selling those goofy upside-down tomato planters. What idiot would buy them? Thanks! I'll let you know how it works! My idiotic bio teacher.

Grocery Shopping

'I've saved you all the sprouts - Mum said they are very good for us!'

'I never thought my dirt would turn on me like this.'

"Jersey Tomatoes" vs. "Jersey toMAHtoes"

"I think we can take you off the cabbage diet now"