Broadway Fan Gifts

'Next!'

South Pork

"I literally died in a theater, but Hamilton gets the Broadway treatment"

Fiddler on the Roof - Performed by Miss Parsons Finishing School

"No animals were harmed during this production."

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

Trump! The Musical

Anthropologists discover the earliest known depiction of Jazz Hands.

Meet Me Outside St. Louis

Daughters on the beach

Modern Major General

'Who do you think you're kidding, Slim? — the ruby slippers are a dead giveaway!'

Senta jumps into the sea

"Then, after college, I joined the navy. Wait, I think I hear him coming."

Shakespeare. Hamlet. Romeo and Juliet. "To be or not to be, that is the question". "We are such stuff …As dreams are made of …" "What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other word would small as sweet." That Shakespeare guy had some neat sound bites.

Jester Surgeon

"My world is Tribeca, lars, and yours is a different world."

Ghostship

"Sorry, I meant to say "good luck", not "break a leg"..."

Circus

'We had to donwsize.'

Paris, 1922, George Gershwin and Franz Kafka try to write a musical.

'So, you think you can just waltz right in here and start making movies, Mr, Astaire'

Bette Midler

Tristan and Isolde

Countess

"It was so depressing. When I go to the theatre, I want to be entertained."

Meryl Streep

'You're thinking of your wife again, aren't you?'

Fred Astaire

Little ship of horrors

Chorister's Loose Teeth

'...and on Bass...'

"I find it comforting to have Off-Broadway plays in the background."

'Whoops. There goes one of my prostheses.'