Broadcasting Pillows

'You're listening to no repeat radio where we never play the same song twice! Yeah! No repeat radio! Where you'll never hear the same song twice! Only on no repeat radio!'

Melvyn Bragg.

"The National Weather Service is warning these areas to brace for what could be a crippling amount of Instagrammed snow photos."

"I'm sorry- I was wrong."

"Here's what went wrong today."

'Are we watching business news or sports news?'

'Double Dannys': Danny Baker and Danny Kelly.

"The new manager hasn't much experience of radio production"

'Relax. This is only a test.'

"...and now...coming into view...the first man ever to climb this treacherous mountain!"

"Remember, this is just an experiment."

'I tried to get into TV journalism, but they told me I had a 'radio face'.'

"This is Larry Hawkins, …. On the lawn …... Outside your house."

'You're going to stitch me up in this interview aren't you?'

What he really hoped to be someday was a TV news anchor.

News presenters read inane text messages from viewers: 'And a text from Stuart in Gloucester ... HAHAHA DAT CRAKS ME UP!!! LOL!! UR DA GR8EST :-)XOXOX'

"I don't think you can blame the Bank for an individual failing to follow procedures...I mean we have told people on several occassions not to empty the vault and take all the money home."

"What do I do? I'm a broadcaster."

'Coming up next. . . our traffic and weather report.'

'Oooh, looks like a broken leg for Randolph - broken legs are brought to you by Altrion Orthopedics Incorporated...'

"But the weather looks great for the rest of the week."

"I see myself as a lot like Garbo, but very much a people person!"

'Fantastic! Stupendous! Masterly! Mind blowing! Polished! Unbeatable! Amazing! Incredible! Out of this world!...a performance that's left me speechless.'

'That hair! That voice! That suit and tie!...Ralph! Pick up the phone and buy 1000 shares of whatever stock he's talking about!'

Surgeons Benefit From Operation.

Local News in Heaven

"He was right, the Sky was falling."

Emphasis on broadcasters not knowing regions "..correspondent in the welsh capital, Glasgow.."

"That concludes our broadcast day. Go to bed."

"There's nothing much happening tonight... so I'm going to just talk about myself!"

'It's carpal tunnel syndrome. You're going to have to quit your job working the bleep button for the Jerry Springer show.'

I love my TV.

Off-air comments.

'Without further ado, I will now choose my favourite microphone.'

'Before I leave, I'd like everyone to know I wear a toupee.'