Broadcast Pillows

"Stretch it, we're running short."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

'If only every year was an election year.'

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

Dialogue

BBC - Crisis Management, Damage Control and Liability Supervision.

If nobody had invented graphics

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

'Now for today's numbers...'Bad Dogs' outnumbered 'Good Dogs' by two-to-one...'

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

Sci-Fi Museum. New Exhibit. H.G. Wells War of the Worlds. In 1938, Orson Welles broadcast "War of the Worlds," a radio drama about aliens from Mars invading earth. The radio drama was presented as a series of fake news reports about devastation caused by the invading aliens. Many listeners turned in to the program mid-roadcast and thought the news reports were real. Widespread panic ensued. Wow! Orson Welles caused all that panic with a radio program. Just imagine what he could have don

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

"As some of you may have guessed I got yesterday's sunburn factor wrong!"

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

"I'm Lester Holt, and this, is date night."

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

"That concludes our broadcast day. Go to bed."

Local News in Heaven

'Och lye the news'

'NBC has revealed plans for a new, humorous version of The Office.'

Dog FM. (Man blowing dog whistle into radio microphone).

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

Malcolm Sargent

"Reports that AI is planning a world takeover are greatly exaggerated."

It's not a bad planet -- Their talk shows make it seem a lot worse than it is.

'John is watching the game under protest.'

"... And in Canada today ... nothing happened."

"This just in — I no longer have a job."

As you can see, media coverage at this event is very heavy...

Presenter Auditions.

"We do have on item the internet hasn't already beaten into the ground, ad nauseam."