Broadcast Prints

"Stretch it, we're running short."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

'If only every year was an election year.'

Dialogue

If nobody had invented graphics

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

'Now for today's numbers...'Bad Dogs' outnumbered 'Good Dogs' by two-to-one...'

"As some of you may have guessed I got yesterday's sunburn factor wrong!"

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

"That concludes our broadcast day. Go to bed."

Local News in Heaven

'Och lye the news'

'John is watching the game under protest.'

"Reports that AI is planning a world takeover are greatly exaggerated."

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

Malcolm Sargent

Dog FM. (Man blowing dog whistle into radio microphone).

"This just in — I no longer have a job."

"The enemy of the people!"

"... And in Canada today ... nothing happened."

As you can see, media coverage at this event is very heavy...

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."