Broadcast Media Gifts

'I write the crawl...'

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

Valuable business advice from some famous disruptive technologies.

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

'If only every year was an election year.'

If nobody had invented graphics

Dialogue

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

'Now for today's numbers...'Bad Dogs' outnumbered 'Good Dogs' by two-to-one...'

"As some of you may have guessed I got yesterday's sunburn factor wrong!"

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

"That concludes our broadcast day. Go to bed."

Local News in Heaven

'Och lye the news'

'John is watching the game under protest.'

Malcolm Sargent

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

Dog FM. (Man blowing dog whistle into radio microphone).

"Reports that AI is planning a world takeover are greatly exaggerated."

"New studies show that the so-called 'lucky man' made popular by the prog-rock band Emerson, Lake and Palmer was, in fact, just very well-connected."

"This just in — I no longer have a job."

"... And in Canada today ... nothing happened."

As you can see, media coverage at this event is very heavy...