Tv Broadcasting Gifts

'This doesn't look good!'

'Let's telecast the games free and make the fights pay-per-view.'

"Ball boys ready? Linesmen ready? Players ready? Sound technologists ready?"

Trial by Media

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Showbiz Awards

"Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme takes a celebrity to the most extreme places on Earth!"

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

Television Readers.

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

Assault 'n' Vinegar

Horror movies

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

'If only every year was an election year.'

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

"And this is our media room."

'Okay, folks, that's a wrap!'

'This has the makings of their toughest season ever.'

"I need a little more drama like a ten part mini-series."