Broadcast Buffs Gifts

"I'm sorry- I was wrong."

New ruling on ageism makes a difference.

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

Television Readers.

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

If nobody had invented graphics

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

'Now for today's numbers...'Bad Dogs' outnumbered 'Good Dogs' by two-to-one...'

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.

We saw this episode of Grey's Anatony, I recognize the symptoms.

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

Man: 'How cute. He must like the movement.' Cat: 'There are some challenging themes here but little or no dramatic resonance.'

Video Henge: made from melting and molding 3,000,000 obsolete VCR tapes.

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

7 Dwarves of Retirement

'You don't want weather? Not a problem! How about sports, or maybe a nice movie? We can do that! Just put that thing down and let's talk, OK?'

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

Junk art/ food/ tv/ music/ amusements/ novels/ views/ life.

Stephen Fry

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

Homo Zapiens

"Please don't watch this show! There's a viewer trigger warning and a short fuse alert."

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

Tunnel of TV

'John is watching the game under protest.'

'Can't you at least wait until half time?!'

"Where do you remember last seeing your glasses?"

Moses Today. Due to the sensitive nature of this matter, my source wishes to remain anonymous.

"If I were you, I wouldn't change the channel!"

'Have you any idea just how little this is worth?'

'You should know better than to switch channels during a Garfield special.'