British Mythology Fan Gifts

King Commute.

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

Viking on beach with rubber ring shaped like viking ship.

Bacchus.

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

Iliadette.

I sometimes feel spotted, but I never really feel seen.

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

"For the last time, I’m not Bigfoot — I’m Larry from Vermont!"

No time for sirtaki now, Greece!

The Beer Garden of Eden: "This hard cider is life-changing. Try a sip."

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

'Gosh, I dunno. You sure it's organic?'

"I'm working on more of a 'personal' mythology."

'Now that's what I call a really old tree!'

'Not only will you know everything but I'll see that you get your own talk show.'

'While Dionysus is indisposed, who wants to take over as God of Wine?'

Trojan horse with a satellite dish.

Adam and Eve, as old people.

Going Down?

'No, I won't be celebrating St George's Day.'

Boy scout replaces Atlas during Bob-a-Job Week.

"Sorry Darling, you are fabulous, but I'm searching for MY Prince too!"

"Hey team, meet our new V.P. of acquisitions and mergers." (businessman introducing a vicking, barbarian)

Bedtime in Ancient Greece

"And make sure you get my daughter home before sunrise..!"

Life and Death

'I gotta bad feeling about this.'

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

"It's creepy thinking that Santa can sneak into my house undetected. I must find out how he does it!"

"So do you still think 'rising sea levels' is a bunch of baloney?"

"Um, latest update Noah: the Warrumwarbler is now extinct."

"That's weird. The app says to look for a Nissan Sentra."