British Countryside Fan Gifts

Lovely Night

A cat has caught a cow which it is dragging through it's cat flap.

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

Two Men Discuss Ministers.

Red trousers at night - shepherd's delight.

Get on with it!

LAST-MINUTE CAMPAIGN STOP

'This'll save a couple of journeys!'

"That was definitely mine."

"So why do I feel like we're being watched?"

"Today on Escape to the Country Emily & Oliver are looking for that special little property in the Cotswolds. So what exactly's going to tick all their boxes?"

'You had me at OOOO-AARRR!'

Last Chance for Everything.

For every moment in life there is a song that describes it perfectly.'

A newspaper stand in a rural area.

"Well, the hills were alive with the sound of music...I'm sure!"

'You're stampeding yourself! You're stampeding yourself!'

"What do you mean I eat as though I was born in a barn? I WAS born in a barn."

"Don't panic Daisy dear. You can relax your buttocks, it's not the vet, it's the chimney sweep."

"This is nice. Just you, me, Buster and a landscape by Andrew Wyeth."

Pastoral Choirs

Ray Price, Willie Nelson, Merle Haggard

"Get the flock out of here!"

"Well, well, looks like we got ourselves a coupla city types here, and a couple more city types right behind 'em, and a whole mess o' city types transferrin' to the Queens-bound F train."

A chicken coop goal.

"Daisy, Daisy, I've seen the farmer filling in the forms: We're going to the Agricultural Show!"

"I have a sweet pad and thirteen girlfriends. Can't beat a chicken's life."

Fancy Wallpaper in a Cell

"So there you are—I thought I heard someone squishing moodily about the moors."

'I thought you said you'd done this before.'

Once a big time corporate higher flyer . . . Max was now living the dream on his alpaca farm.

Scarecrow

'The upside is that you won't have to worry about Christmas shopping.'

"Mine has a terrible battery life."

"You'll have to excuse them. They're the laughing stock of the farm."