British Banter Lover Pillows

"No, I don't feel guilty. I've heard the average Briton moves once every six years."

Freudian Bar & Grill...Jungian Pub: 'We can out drink those Freudians ant day of the week!...'And twice on Sunday!' ...'Yeah!' ... e

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

When Love In The Laboratory Turns Sour.

An Archeologic Dig

"Where do you see yourself in five pints time?"

"That fish may be bigger, but I caught more."

Happy Hour 5-7. (Not really an hour, not really happy.) At last, truth in advertising.

Silicon Vale

Alien asking for Bernard manning's autograph

The Gilmore Girls

Sigh. They never ask me to play.

When Stupid People Get an Idea

Cold caller.

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

STILL LIVES - Double Head Match: 'I think we're a match made in heaven.' 'It seems more like the the work of the Devil to me!'

"That's okay, I lost my wife years ago. Worst poker hand I ever played."

"Good news - You can get wine in pints now! Bad news - It's British wine."

Get Over It, You Remoaners!

'Here comes Ted.'

"Your Honor, I would like the record to state that Mr. Katzman is a 'hostile witness'."

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

Can't stand him. He really gets on my nerves, he does. Old curmudgeon embarrassing himself like that."

"I may have bird legs but at least I don't have crow's feet."

Follow England mate, they're always crap!

William Hague as a punk.

"I'll have a Maker's Mark, and she'll have a shot at being the mother she never was."

"Tom, we've started a little office pool on how long it'll take me to get your job. Want in?"

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

It's not always a good idea for two contrarians like you to be together. Amanda Kern. Comics Counseling. You hear that, you old battle-axe? Yeah, I hear that, you old coot. That'll be $150.

"All the atmosphere of 'Murray Mound' but in the comfort of your own home!"

"Some prop-forward he's turned out to be."

'I do hope you enjoy your birthday lie-in, dear.'

"Noooo! B is for Bullocks, B is for Braindead, and Beating Boris on the Bum with a Big Broom.Don't forget that Achmed."

'Have we met someplace? Yes, that's why I quit going there.'