Brewpub Owner Gifts

He comes by sometimes to tell me he quit my job, bought a convertible and is going to open a brewpub. Midlife crisis actor.

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

'We have 800 beers on tap. If you want to hear all of them, you'll have to get here earlier, we close in six hours.'

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

"This brew is quite hoppy - they must of added too much toad."

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'No standing while room is in motion.'

Mount Olympus Brewery. Those might be dangerous to open. They're Pandora's Bocks.

Best Before 5th Pint.

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

Beer Stall

Shaken not stirred

"It's a new countertop draft system for craft beer!"

"A pint! I'll need proof, and that's human years, not dog years!"

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

"... And to this day, she still blames the dog!"

"Have you seen my dad?"

'You shouldn't knock them back so quickly.'

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"Stranger, you're sitting in the boss's personal spot. That's why they moved the dart board over your head."

The Reaper's Arms

'Here comes your own personal weekly beer supply, Joe!'

As long as there are husbands, we'll get our's money's worth!

Traditional Ale - Traditional Drunk

You said you wanted beer with hops !

It's our new twin-handle beer mug. It's for manly, two-fisted drinkers, as well as weaklings like you who can't lift it with one hand.

"I've had it with you guys! From now on, have your arguments on your own time!"

'Looks like a good day fah haulin' lobstah, eh, Pauley?...Let's just say it became a good day fah drinkin'...'

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

Infinity Tavern

Brew 'N' Brouhaha

Buy one beer, get one free. If I may paraphrase a famous quote, "Beer is proof that God has mixed feelings about us and wants us to be hungover."

Bar: Now serving 24 hours - 'I want to get as wasted as you look.'

Beer Order

'I'm sorry, we don't serve spirits.'