Brew Whisperer Gifts

'Ere! I thought coffee was supposed to keep you AWAKE!'

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

Nothing beats the love of a good cat.

Cat Heaven vs Mouse Hell.

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

Woman setting out a dinner party with name cards labeled cat person, dog person.

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

"We're hoping for a really smooth wine here."

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

'It's the essence of springtime. You're really enjoying it.'

'Honestly, now that Tiger is neutered I'm perfectly happy just cuddling.'

Get out of the way, Harold - I'm trying to talk to Cuddles.

'I'm sorry, we don't serve spirits.'

"Oi - I was pollinating that!!"

I used to love coming here. Nudist beach.

"I'm getting cinnamon, brandy, nutmeg, a hint of Alsatian."

'Honey, honey, always honey: We'll never get rich unless we can differentiate ourselves from the competition...'

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

Cat Zoom Meeting

"Dang, there goes another piece of the wife's good china. You see father, it's

"People who don't believe in soulmates just haven't met the right animal."

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

'Oh that just means he wants you to rub his tummy.'

'I think I've found what's been causing my funny buzzing sounds.'

"I think I blew the promotion when I started doing some personal hygiene grooming during the interview."

"Sure, it's been a tough quarter, but somehow we always land on our feet."

"I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp." "Really?" "Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that?" "They post 'reviews' that don't have even a hint of negativity." "Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: 'House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate.'"

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

'We need to target the rich and stupid.'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"As it happens, we don't produce any beer flavored wine."

Wine Talking

"I think it's unfair to call her a "crazy cat-lady": She just loves all 63 of us..."