Breed Reputation Observer Gifts

'sure, Lassie made us Border Collies popular, but the drawback is that people expect us to save them or run for help all the time...'

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

"I'm sorry, but you didn't recognize me as the Messiah when I had braces and glasses."

'I remember, Fido, winning isn't the only thing...there are also stud fees.'

"....one minute I'm there - chewing the cud - the next, I get this urge to lead!"

Monsanto-Research Dept (Genetic Engineering) Publicity Dept (Frenetic Engineering)

The balance of power shifted when sparky figured out how to use the laser pointer.

'This is the Polled Texas Longhorn - the breed of the future!'

'Are you sure its a purbred?'

"She's a Malaysian Longhair, but we don't know what."

'My wife, my rancher, his artificial insemination device!'

"My dad was a prize-winning bull too: According to Mum, he won a raffle once at the local fair..."

'The date was going well... until Lenny decided to eat his own vomit.'

'Sometimes he seems almost human, but he's very good at being a dog.'

Fauna Hybrids

'He's not great at playing dead, but his sad look when he's in trouble is a real work of art.'

Village Pet Shop.

"Remember, I've got the Dog Catcher on speed dial."

'...paddlecat is said to have contributed to much of the tension that exists between the two species, even today.'

'So what if you're a breeding program baby: I'm an IVF baby but we both have loving parents and zookeepers...'

"The working conditions don't bother me half so much as the retirement plan."

"Someday, son, all of yours will be this."

Reigning cats and dogs.

"They know me here."

'Welcome home, Tiddles...'

'Well, Martha, there goes the end of our virgin wool.'

"Typical. They're happy to benefit from our service but just try and come in as a customer."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Lunch is served at the Kennel Club

'We should have named him 'Bill,' looking at what we have to buy each week.'

'Hey, wait a minute - this is a Guernsy!...'

'A mixed Poodle? Really, Doctor!...

How Dogs Are Born

'He was bred for sniffing out drugs.'