Breath Aficionado Gifts

'Don't talk to the plants after you've eaten garlic.'

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

"Ok, let's get those knuckles up off the ground, arms way up high now, feet wide apart. . ."

"Gesundheit!"

Loofah Lady

'Looks like Shelia has overdone it with the cream scones this week!'

'Sir, you inaugural speech is simply wonderful. I would just suggest you say 'dear employees' instead of 'hey, you bunch of lousy slaves'.'

"Do your thing, Phil...lull them into submission."

When placed in the hands of the right person on a long vacation, even egg salad could be a deadly weapon.

'The aerobics will give you a more youthful appearance overall, but you need to see a podiatrist about your crows feet.'

'Vote for me because my Super PAC raised lots more money than my opponent's Super PAC.'

'Now that we've learned to talk, maybe we should establish some speech codes.'

'. . . it's not everyone has their own micro-climate Bernard.'

"I said, the brewery has rather overdone the ambiance in here..."

"I'm feeling a lot of love in the room - with the exception of that guy over there."

The only creation God was truly proud of was the Sabbath

The Pope looks through here to check out the crowd before he speaks. Ah --- The papal people peephole!

Fitness Course.

'I need to appear bold and decisive. Won't someone PLEASE ask me a yes or no question?'

'Hey, I voted for the big tax hike because suffering builds character!'

'You have echolalia — it's very common among politicians.'

"Friends, Romans, countrymen..."

Always wear a bra during aerobics classes.

"I'm going to really need some Zumba after this!"

"I enjoyed your speech. Although I was sorry to miss my children growing up."

Kid's Driving You Crazy?

"Mr. Chairman, distinguished guests, Gramm, Rudman, Hollings..."

A big dog at lectern.

Woman stuck doing situps has spider web being built under arm

Conductorcize.

"I like him. He sounds authentic."

'Let's see now, if one score equals twenty years...'

Segway Workout

"In conclusion, I hope you all make plenty of money to donate to your alma mater."

Dog says, "I must admit that I've come a long way since I first heard the word, 'speak'."