Breath Aficionado T-Shirts

'Don't talk to the plants after you've eaten garlic.'

"I love this place—its food, its ambience, and its political goals."

"Ok, let's get those knuckles up off the ground, arms way up high now, feet wide apart. . ."

"Gesundheit!"

Loofah Lady

'Sir, you inaugural speech is simply wonderful. I would just suggest you say 'dear employees' instead of 'hey, you bunch of lousy slaves'.'

'Looks like Shelia has overdone it with the cream scones this week!'

'The aerobics will give you a more youthful appearance overall, but you need to see a podiatrist about your crows feet.'

When placed in the hands of the right person on a long vacation, even egg salad could be a deadly weapon.

'Vote for me because my Super PAC raised lots more money than my opponent's Super PAC.'

"Do your thing, Phil...lull them into submission."

'Now that we've learned to talk, maybe we should establish some speech codes.'

'. . . it's not everyone has their own micro-climate Bernard.'

"I said, the brewery has rather overdone the ambiance in here..."

Fitness Course.

'I need to appear bold and decisive. Won't someone PLEASE ask me a yes or no question?'

"I'm feeling a lot of love in the room - with the exception of that guy over there."

'Hey, I voted for the big tax hike because suffering builds character!'

The only creation God was truly proud of was the Sabbath

'You have echolalia — it's very common among politicians.'

"Friends, Romans, countrymen..."

Always wear a bra during aerobics classes.

"I enjoyed your speech. Although I was sorry to miss my children growing up."

Woman stuck doing situps has spider web being built under arm

"I'm going to really need some Zumba after this!"

"Mr. Chairman, distinguished guests, Gramm, Rudman, Hollings..."

A big dog at lectern.

Kid's Driving You Crazy?

"I like him. He sounds authentic."

'Let's see now, if one score equals twenty years...'

Segway Workout

Dog says, "I must admit that I've come a long way since I first heard the word, 'speak'."

"In conclusion, I hope you all make plenty of money to donate to your alma mater."