Breath Bravado Gifts

'I won the garlic eating competition.'

"If it were painful, could I do this?"

'The pioneers opened the frontier, but it wasn't legal until brave lawyers blazed the paper trail!'

'It's a screaming ladies part.'

'This is the part I hate most - he's got terrible bad breath !'

'Now I understand why people want to give them up.'

"Who are you looking at? Want to kick off, do you?"

Joe's Bar: Your money back if you think you're man enough!

"One can only hope this is the raw stuff of art."

'Wow, breathing! What a concept.'

'My Father can beat up your Father!'

'Don't talk to the plants after you've eaten garlic.'

'I've got to wear a brace,,,my teeth don't stick out'

The real reason we have natural disasters...

'Wow, a new personal best: You held your breath for 10mn 46s!'

'So much talent in the world, and not nearly enough roles for grandmas.'

Headless chicken: "Is that all you got?"

'Do the particulates in the air seem extra large today?'

'I think of my 'bald-patch' as a solar panel for a sex-machine!'

'Now that's confidence!'

Old war hero rejects mosquito sprays at his peril

'He'll stop being so smug when he gets his first dent.'

'Are those plugs, Carl?'

'Do the flu masks come with impregnated breath fresheners?'

'Big moose, what big moose?'

"So much for neighbourhood watch!"

'Tough guy, eh? Want to step outside?'

"My strength is the strength of ten because I'm fourteen."

"...and that one is a button for my coat."

"Ok - what makes you so sure that it's a wig??"

'Breathe in and out? What other way is there?'

'Come now dear, I hardly think a spider in the bath will bother me too much ...'

Butch bowler with a tally chart of men on his jumper

Choose you battles