Breakfast Explorer Gifts

"It's technically a milkshake, but if I call it a 'smoothie,' I can have it for breakfast."

'You HAD to buy the cheap knockoff.'

'We'd rather have a bowl of Cow-Cow Plops!'

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

Picking pastries.

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

"Let's just go in and see what happens."

'You learn how to make dough later. For now, you're on a knead-to-know basis.'

Countervailing Clichés.

"I can't go much longer without your asking why I'm vegan."

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

French Early Bird

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

'...and one 'death by chocolate', Sir.'

Great moments in 'Haute Cuisine'. . . America gives the world the Donut Sandwich.

It was then that Cervantes was inspired.

Breakfast surreal.

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

Cafe Momus from La Boheme

Kid goes to Hideaway Bakery and sees a sign for a sale on upside down cakes. Cakes are upside down.

"No dear- I said I was going to buy you a big PROPER TEA!"

'Is this the new product?' - 'Yes, a rocket filled with cornflakes.'

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

"There you go bra. Double flat white and homage to Rothko's Seagram series."

'And here on our left you see the sugary cereal aisle...a real crowd pleaser!'

"You know Grandma, I can't remember the last time I had my appetite spoiled."

'Mom, I don't care how high in fiber they are. Broccoli flakes are going to fail as a breakfast cereal.'

"Congratulations! For checking the fridge 30 times in under an hour, you've won something that you actually want to eat!"

"... Wine list? No, we don't have a wine list! Perhaps I can get sir something from the vending machine?"

'It's the same as our regular Angels hair pasta, but with extra grease.'

'What the devil is that?' - 'I don't know, I haven't named it yet.'

'It's not that I'm stupid. I'm lactose intolerant and on a diet.'

'I'm writing my dissertation on Latte Sizes.'

F&E Diner. You asked for a hot breakfast, so I put some jalapenos on your corn flakes!

'We're starting a new diet today -- do you want your tofu scrambled or fried?'