Breakfast Experimenters Gifts

'Mom, I don't care how high in fiber they are. Broccoli flakes are going to fail as a breakfast cereal.'

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

'Something new for Sunday lunch today - Corned-beef sandwiches!'

"I think the 'Exotic Recipe' diet will make me lose weight. I'm running all over town trying to find the ingredients!"

Great moments in 'Haute Cuisine'. . . America gives the world the Donut Sandwich.

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

It was then that Cervantes was inspired.

'All our family's creativity is channelled into finding ways to gain weight.

"The toaster is broken again, sweetheart."

"You were supposed to have invented fire!"

"I get a fresh food kit delivered for lunch. All I need to do is chop, cook, and enjoy!"

New From The People Who Brought You I-Can't-Believe-It's-Not-A-Petroleum-By-Product Sandwich Spread

'We're starting a new diet today -- do you want your tofu scrambled or fried?'

April 12,1989: The last day Ryan ever ate pancakes. 'I ran out of pancake mix so I fried up patties of my facial cream.'

"First, break the egg...."

Wife at breakfast: 'We're out of sugar - how about chocolate milk on your cereal?'

'How did you get your pastry so thin?' Steam roller.

It's the little surprises that keep a marriage exciting...

Soup on a stick

'If only you would let me cover this Tofu-vegetables stuff with ketchup, it would at least LOOK like real food...'

Curry for Breakfast.

'Well, lucky you! The chef informs me that his breakfast special today is blackened scrambled eggs!'

Man in pyjamas walks into cereal cafe

Signs your breakfast is trying to kill you.

'I made the mistake of buying Greg a do-it-yourself wine making kit and a beer kit. Now we've got a 5-year supply of chianti with a thick, creamy head.'

'Did you know that cereal is the only thing with a prize in it?!'

"Lab-grown?"

'I didn't use a plate because my soldiers are underequipped.'