Breakfast Binger Gifts

'And here on our left you see the sugary cereal aisle...a real crowd pleaser!'

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

-'but for a full English breakfast you can't beat Blackpool,sir.'

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

Before getting a basketball scholarship, Jack worked at a pancake house.

Lioness Shops for Snacks.

'The Brothers of the Order of Saint Orson, patron saint of fried foods'

"Nobody truly appreciates the magic that goes into a good omelet."

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

'Now that's Real TV!'

Fish flipping flapjack in pan. Title: 'Ed was glad he'd caught a panfish.'

'I burned my fingers by touching the hot breakfast eggs, but next time, I'll peel them before I put them into boiling water!'

'I'll have toast and he'll have a complete dog's breakfast.'

"I tried the C25k but prefer the 5k2C"

"Never mind the porridge, someone's stolen my woodland mushroom collection."

Gullib-Os

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

'He ordered those 'natural male enhancements',and now he watches football all the time!'

'Okay darlin' if you need more whipped cream just hit the red button.'

'Did I doze off for a couple of years? Since when did cupcakes become a big deal?'

"OK, hands up who’s vegan... lactose intolerant... peanut allergies..."

'How do you want your eggs, too hard or too soft?'

Samuel Pepys' writer's block

'But you distinctly said working breakfast.'

"It's 100% commercials."

Missing sock

"This is why the doc said to not binge-watch the Eating Channel!"

Bagel problems.

'I don't believe in blind dates... the last time I got fixed up I got neutered.'

"Take your time. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day."

Credit Crunch: Breakfast for Losers.

"The bagel’s from a previous marriage."

'A free plastic toy, cornflakes scattered around the victim... Yep, it looks like our cereal killer alright!'

'Okay! Okay! I'll talk! I'll talk! Please, just don't eat any more bacon!'

"I never said I liked this show...I'm only enjoying it because you hate it."