Break Room Bandits Pillows

'I, along with some of the other employees, feel you're abusing the break room.'

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"First time pruning?"

'These are job perks.'

'Would you all please congatulate...'

'I'm part of the decision-making process... I'm the 'No' part.'

'Right about here I added a drip coffee maker, with high caffeine premium blend coffee, to the employee break room.'

'I'm moving up to be Chairperson of the Board. One of you will be President.'

White Collar Crime.

'Jenkins, about these coffee breaks of yours...'

"O.K., one last big rhubarb score. But then I'm out of the pie game for good."

Try to hold your audience's attention when giving a presentation.

'I don't like it... It's too quiet.'

'They are poached eggs, sir -- we grabbed them when the chicken wasn't looking!'

'You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off. . .!'

"Let it go. I was thinking of taking early retirement anyway."

Round-the-world cyclist has world stolen

Another Rookie Mistake

Bart is quite at home on the range.

Photocoffier: a fresh cup of joe while you wait on copies.

'Your breakfast in bed is on the kitchen ceiling, Mum.'

Ways to waste time at work.

Police borrows a tricycle to catch a bank robber.

'Maybe you're sitting on the wrong end.'

'I drink so much alcohol I'm afraid to smoke!'

'No, Alex! This is our ‘A Penny For Your Thoughts' meeting. Stop throwing in your two cents worth!'

'It appears the best way to be politically correct is to be apolitical.'

After Office

"Hey...what's going on? Where's Tia Carmen? Where's breakfast?!"

"I understand that your next door neighbour is the public water works!?"

'Mr. Clark, if you ever want to have a bath with your favourite rubber duck again, we want two loaves of fresh white bread! And don't even think of calling the cops!'

"Thank God you showed up. I was beginning to think I was the only person who hid out in the coffee room all day."

'That's strange -- there seems to be a pop-tart in your disk drive.'

"Waiter I asked for apricot preserve with my toast!"