Breadstick Fan Gifts

'After the party Bob never saw the remote again. Luckily he'd spent big on bread sticks.'

Cat croissant, cat baguette, cat muffin, cat turnover

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

With Thorssen, it's "Pillage and blunder".

"What do you call a person who only eats corn?"

"Stick Figure" "Stick Figure II" "Stick Figures" "Stick Figure: The Reawakening"

Clown's Cuckoo Clock.

Non-Humble Pie.

"I'm a monster."

'It runs on batteries. I'm trying to become more green.'

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil clowns is that good clowns do nothing."

"Cliff's really devoted to his art. He'll wait hours for someone to take a shot to the groin."

"Let's try 'roll over.' We can come back to this."

'Watch your step. I lost my footing on these dang paving stones.'

Trash-talkin' artists

"Hurry, I've been waiting for you."

Clown Inhaling Laughing Gas

"I don't really think you're cut out for this job..."

"And to think I always thought you walked with an ominous elegance like Henry Fonda."

Man carrying crates of eggs about to step on sleeping dog.

"We can address the underlying problems ... or ... you can keep your head in the sand."

The clowns are coming!

"Previously on..."

Someday, the worm will turn.

'Well, Tom, your blood sugar is way too high!'

Captain Whiteboard. "Darn! I just rubbed the 'X' off."

Clown has hit wife with custard pie. Marriage guidance counsellor says: 'Does he end every argument like this?'

"Sorry about that. Just following the serving suggestion."

'This course is a great ego builder.'

'Like heck he invented fire -- it was spontaneous combustion from the slob's trash pile.'

"Madeleine is always losing her contact lenses"

'I'm worried sick -- the King just ordered a bunch of Benny Hill DVD's!'

Cow Cow Plops.

Circus. I'm giving up the seltzer bottle as a comedy prop and will do a more sophisticated act. Ah, dry humor.

Window Cleaner asks for help.