Breadstick Fan Pillows

'After the party Bob never saw the remote again. Luckily he'd spent big on bread sticks.'

Cat croissant, cat baguette, cat muffin, cat turnover

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

"What do you call a person who only eats corn?"

"Stick Figure" "Stick Figure II" "Stick Figures" "Stick Figure: The Reawakening"

Non-Humble Pie.

"I'm a monster."

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil clowns is that good clowns do nothing."

'It runs on batteries. I'm trying to become more green.'

"Cliff's really devoted to his art. He'll wait hours for someone to take a shot to the groin."

"Let's try 'roll over.' We can come back to this."

'Watch your step. I lost my footing on these dang paving stones.'

Trash-talkin' artists

"I don't really think you're cut out for this job..."

"Hurry, I've been waiting for you."

Man carrying crates of eggs about to step on sleeping dog.

"We can address the underlying problems ... or ... you can keep your head in the sand."

Captain Whiteboard. "Darn! I just rubbed the 'X' off."

Someday, the worm will turn.

"Sorry about that. Just following the serving suggestion."

"Previously on..."

The clowns are coming!

'Well, Tom, your blood sugar is way too high!'

Clown has hit wife with custard pie. Marriage guidance counsellor says: 'Does he end every argument like this?'

'This course is a great ego builder.'

'Like heck he invented fire -- it was spontaneous combustion from the slob's trash pile.'

'How many Breadsticks have you eaten?'

Window Cleaner asks for help.

'I'm worried sick -- the King just ordered a bunch of Benny Hill DVD's!'

'I had no choice. He pulled a fork on me.'

"Madeleine is always losing her contact lenses"