Bread Head Gifts

Out of work baker - I knead your dough.

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

'Been Away?' A piece of bread looks at a piece of brown toast as if it's got a suntan.

Baking

'The body is made up of millions and millions of crumbs.'

Boy with bat using toaster to launch bread for him to practise hitting

"Winter is not a season, it's an occupation. Sinclair Lewis, boy, Sinclair Lewis."

"My mother taught me about baking. She was a great roll model!"

"Not while they're making artisanal bread."

"Look lively crew, lest we be dashed upon these scrumptious shores."

I bake my own bread.

"How are we on bread?"

"Perhaps I should have warned you...They really don't like wholemeal bread."

Early Morning Roll Call.

French bread

'Sticky nuts...' "Umm nice nuts but not as sticky as us buns!!"

'What about the rolls you promised me?'

'...Well, this is it Lana...the place where I was born and raised!'

"Do you have any marriage bread?"

"I bought this 'automatic bread maker', and so far it hasn't made any!"

The Stages of Coffee Addiction

'Admit it, dear, you've been keeping sliced bread a secret all these years in order to save our marriage, haven't you?'

"I just dialed 1-800-BAGUETTE."

Toast with faces popped up from toaster.

"Being an everything bagel, doesn’t mean you are expected to do everything."

I bake my own bread

"Thanks for the starter!"

"Please rise."

"Yeah, it's completely irrational, but the smell of freshly baked bread makes me salivate too..."

A good actor can play any roll.