Brand Whisperer Gifts

"If this drug doesn't relax your nerves, try chanting its incredibly soothing brand name."

'I've got an idea. Why don't we just tack on the word 'natural' to our pesticide sprays?'

'We need to target the rich and stupid.'

"Which swoosh best describes our corporate philosophy?"

"We will continue to manufacture the same products the customer has known and foolishly trusted for years."

"He was an adman to the end."

"Our brand is about talking about our brand."

"I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp." "Really?" "Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that?" "They post 'reviews' that don't have even a hint of negativity." "Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: 'House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate.'"

Brad seizes upon a hot trend in marketing: personal pop-up ads.

"Like Facebook, I have also changed our company name so that it will be more clear and transparent to our customers who we are and what we do."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

"Well, at least we know she died peacefully."

Opening the door to new customers

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'

'It's easy, Greg. Just get in touch with your inner regional sales manager.'

'Looks like the perfect time to bring in our profit sharing scheme.'

'Now go out there and sell yourself!'

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

"He works well with everyone except customers and co-workers."

we wanted to get rid of all the 'superbugs' but they were the only one's who understood the new it system

'Then again - no pain, no gain.'

'Stocks fell on the perception that stocks would fall on the perception that stocks were falling.'

'We're projecting a profit, but not within our lifetimes.'

"It's important to see 'beyond the obvious' when you look at a customer. . ."

'Are you hiding something from me?'

'Stay on all fours. That way you can pounce on new consumer wants.'

"That last customer thinks I should fire you."

'I see you have a stock market/body connection.'

"Don't worry Sir, you're not the first person to ask for a refund and you probably won't be the last!"

'Mom, Dad, it's nice of you to visit me at the store, but you know, I am working.'

"You say there's a dip in the market?"

'Boy, are the markets getting sensitive, anymore.'

"I'm getting subtle hints of what the Fed might do."

This is Mr Smith from Big Data Mining. He says he's found an insight.