Brand Whisperer Gifts

"If this drug doesn't relax your nerves, try chanting its incredibly soothing brand name."

'I've got an idea. Why don't we just tack on the word 'natural' to our pesticide sprays?'

'We need to target the rich and stupid.'

"Which swoosh best describes our corporate philosophy?"

"We will continue to manufacture the same products the customer has known and foolishly trusted for years."

"Our brand is about talking about our brand."

"I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp." "Really?" "Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that?" "They post 'reviews' that don't have even a hint of negativity." "Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: 'House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate.'"

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

"Well, at least we know she died peacefully."

Opening the door to new customers

'Well, I'm not very satisfied with our customers, either.'

'It's easy, Greg. Just get in touch with your inner regional sales manager.'

'Looks like the perfect time to bring in our profit sharing scheme.'

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

'Now go out there and sell yourself!'

"He works well with everyone except customers and co-workers."

'Then again - no pain, no gain.'

we wanted to get rid of all the 'superbugs' but they were the only one's who understood the new it system

'Stocks fell on the perception that stocks would fall on the perception that stocks were falling.'

'We're projecting a profit, but not within our lifetimes.'

"It's important to see 'beyond the obvious' when you look at a customer. . ."

'Boy, are the markets getting sensitive, anymore.'

"Don't worry Sir, you're not the first person to ask for a refund and you probably won't be the last!"

"That last customer thinks I should fire you."

"You say there's a dip in the market?"

'I see you have a stock market/body connection.'

'Mom, Dad, it's nice of you to visit me at the store, but you know, I am working.'

'Stay on all fours. That way you can pounce on new consumer wants.'

'Are you hiding something from me?'

"I'm getting subtle hints of what the Fed might do."

This is Mr Smith from Big Data Mining. He says he's found an insight.

'Excellent! Our tests confirm that the average shareholder falls asleep by page 9 of the 10-K. Place the notice of the IRS audit on page 10.'

"I can't keep giving you stock tips. The SEC has been making 'insider trading' inquiries."

'I'll leave a path of bread crumbs in case you need to find me.'