Brand-name Buster Gifts

He knew it. She was cheating on him again. Buying brand-name products and putting them in bulk containers. You know, just to appear thrifty.

The Jeopardy of Progress

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

'It's a rare generic defect. To put it bluntly, you have no brand loyalty.'

'How damp is this place? Let me put it this way: I use mold and mildew remover as a skin care product.'

Killing Santa

'Thrower here has always been one to push the envelope.'

Back to school expenses.

Warning.

Holy Water and Ice Blocks

"...It's just that I feel I've become typecast."

"I'm doing 9 to 5."

'I'm sensing you may still have some boundary issues.'

"Why do you think we need a humidifier?"

"No, you come in on four."

'Let's give him a couple more minutes, but it looks like we've got ourselves a bum who can't fight his way out of a paper bag.'

Career in a rut? Call ********* The recruitment specialists.

"He's stopped waiting for Brexit and moved on with his life."

For Timely Filing

Car exhaust as a monster

Control Freaks Without Borders

'How many of our spouses has this maniac taken?? We end the reign of terror today!!'

"I busted unions for 30 years until the company tossed me out without a pension."

'New, are we?'

'I didn't think it was possible to break dance to Perry Como!'

Conformity, Equality, Anarchy.