Braces Banter Lover Pillows

"Braces? I'm just not comfortable with all that metal in my mouth."

"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."

'I like you, you've got balls.'

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

'Of course I want a short back and sides. I've only got a back and sides.'

"Where do you see yourself in five pints time?"

An Archeologic Dig

Fuzz - Fuzzy writes a song with a positive message.

Dentist's Office: 'I know that $3,280 hurt you more than it did me, Dad.'

"That fish may be bigger, but I caught more."

Rest in Peace Instant Replay

"It feels like me against the world but it's actually just the state of Connecticut."

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

"I'm thinkin' blond."

"It's easy for me. Three beers and I'm in the zone."

"Why, Mr. Conly, I do believe you're trying to get me hydrated."

'Here comes Ted.'

"I'll have a Maker's Mark, and she'll have a shot at being the mother she never was."

'You're trying to find yourself? -- No offense, but if I were you, I'd look for somebody ELSE.'

"It's Olive isn't it?"

'Watch it, I'm a black belt.'

Can't stand him. He really gets on my nerves, he does. Old curmudgeon embarrassing himself like that."

"I may have bird legs but at least I don't have crow's feet."

STILL LIVES - Double Head Match: 'I think we're a match made in heaven.' 'It seems more like the the work of the Devil to me!'

"Some prop-forward he's turned out to be."

'I do hope you enjoy your birthday lie-in, dear.'

'Yeah, but did you hear the crowd roar when I hooked the cape out of your hands?'

BEER BELLY

'Have we met someplace? Yes, that's why I quit going there.'

'Here's the secret to a profitable 99-cent pint night - 14 ounces of foam, 2 ounces of beer.'

'You can't make a wit out of two half wits.'

"When we get inside, remember to use your indoor whining and complaining voice."

'Oh, yeah?...Well, no one has to follow me around with a pooper-scooper.'