Bourbon Appreciator Gifts

"My wife wants a perfume that'll make her irresistable. What have you got that smells like bourbon and cigars?"

You got that beer that the monks make, didn't you?

Wouldn't it be cool if we could live in the Middle Ages, Randy? We could roam the countryside on horses and carry swords. We could hang out in taverns and drink ale, maybe earn enough coin to hire a hero … Then we could go on a quest. Maybe slay some golems. I think it's a real sign of intellectual maturity that we haven't even mentioned maidens yet. Real Middle-Ages maidens would eat you for breakfast.

Surreal ale

"It's from the local micro brewery..."

'It's the Secretary-General of the United Nations -- are you here?'

Fish mobsters.

"I asked for a bottle of something that would make men drool over me. This is bourbon."

"I see, Mr. Pipkins, we're back on the bourbon and smoking through glazed doughnuts."

'Ocean sounds won't be heard, so that we may bring you a paid commercial program on offshore investment opportunities.'

'Increase your beer volume sales by filling the glasses up.'

"Nope. Sometimes I drink water just to confuse my liver."

Drunken Dis-orderly

'He's going to need more bourbon.'

'I suggest you move onto halves...'

Walking here to the tavern allows me to decrease my carbon footprint and increase my bourbon footprint.

"Holy cow! This is bourbon!" "My husband is from Kentucky."

"Yeah, I'll say that's a good head, now is there any chance you can put ome beer under it?"

"Enjoy your youth. Soon you'll be an old cynic like me with nothing worth barking at."

Deadpan Delivery.

Perpetual Motion.

Yes, dear, it's a very good pearl for your first try.

'No more beer and onions. The whole village smells to high heaven!'

'What wine goes best with bourbon?'

Look...a friendly face.

The Legacy of 50 Shades of Grey: 'Stay calm madam we will have you out of there in no time.'

'I'm worried Tom has a drinking problem.'

'Bourbon, rocks.'

When Astronomers Party.

"If this beer had a head it would hang it in shame."

"We all have our own Christmas spirit. Mine's bourbon."

'With just a soupçon of argon.'

"Say - this electronic bourbon isn't bad."

"I'm sorry, but we don't serve women here."

"Obviously we'd have loved to help, but there were so MANY other calls on the public purse!"