Bourbon Gifts

'There's no administration costs, so all of it will go for bourbon.'

'Bourbon, rocks.'

Hunting Dog brings back bottle of wild turkey.

Jasper Coot: 'Tea is for little old ladies! COFFEE! And if I wan' ta party, Kentucky bourbon!'

"Say - this electronic bourbon isn't bad."

"We all have our own Christmas spirit. Mine's bourbon."

'Son, someday this will all be yours. Or Wal-Mart's. Whoever pays Daddy the most.'

'Never underestimate the value of pipe-dreams, my son.'

"How are we on bread?"

"Mr. Thomaston's people are here to talk to your people."

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

"The Oaths of the Venture Capitalists."

"A man's cubicle is his castle—eh, chief?"

"We're a hedge fund, Mr Marney, so I'm putting your allocation at 30% stocks, 30% bonds, and 40% bushes."

"I see, Mr. Pipkins, we're back on the bourbon and smoking through glazed doughnuts."

'Relax. I've come for your high yield 30 year Treasury bonds. They're about to expire.'

'The very name 'windfall profits' show it's an act of god.'

"It's non-negotiable."

'Sure, I'll come on board for five-hundred times your average worker's wage, plus double that in stock options, and unlimited use of the corporate jet. Also free postage.'

"Holy cow! This is bourbon!" "My husband is from Kentucky."

'He's going to need more bourbon.'

Walking here to the tavern allows me to decrease my carbon footprint and increase my bourbon footprint.

His burro injured, Scotty hauls ass for the nearest town.

"Nope. Sometimes I drink water just to confuse my liver."

Drunken Dis-orderly

Bonfire of the Paperwork

'What wine goes best with bourbon?'

'Darn it Mother! I'm not MISSING! I'm just working DOUBLES this month!'

Deep dish bourbon

Agricultural Businessman.

'Forty beers please, oh, and if a woman called Beau Peep calls, tell her you never saw us.'

'I wanted a vehicle with the styling of a 4x4 but with a lower carbon footprint.'

"I'm sorry, but we don't serve women here."

King of oil

"Three Wild Turkeys."