Botanical Bragging Rights T-Shirts

"Some of my peonies go back to 1872."

Prize vegetables.

Plant Lady

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Garden Goddess.

Hermit Crabapple Tree

"Would the widdle Venus fly trap like a fly? You'll have to beg for it."

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

"Oh, quit your whining. At least yours comes back in the Spring

"Takes the food right out of your mouth."

'What great fall blooms. These flowers make yummy pumpkin pie spice!'

"I can tell it's new because it's alive."

A drooping plant is watered via an IV tube.

"Go ahead, tell him... Your friend is correct. Nuts are fruit. Why won't you ever believe me?"

"Rats, I thought he'd like my science project!"

Tree Identification Field Guide...

"It's cute that yours has a Fire Island share, mine has the East Hampton Dream House."

'Let's go to the Horticultural Show and taste the exotic flowers...'

"Remember that half-dead sansevieria you put out on the balcony back in January of 1994, pal?"

'Oh, really? I work for little softy.'

Balding gnomes

So those are your 'weapons of mass destruction? - Slugs?

'Take me to your weeder!'

'Oh yes I talk to them all the time. Except the aspidistra. Not since the argument.'

The tulip knew it was in trouble when called by its scientific name.

'Selling a stock and marking a profit is better than selling it at a loss, if only for the bragging rights.'

A Salmon Lie

You have the flu. Get plenty of rest and avoid lots of fluids.

"I have my green thumb, thanks to my black 'n' blue knees!"

"Have you got any man eating plants?"

'I SAID you'd threatened to throw them out once too often!'

'He wants to return some shade trees because they stopped working in November.'