Botanical Bragging Rights Gifts

"Some of my peonies go back to 1872."

Prize vegetables.

Plant Lady

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Garden Goddess.

"Would the widdle Venus fly trap like a fly? You'll have to beg for it."

Hermit Crabapple Tree

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

"Oh, quit your whining. At least yours comes back in the Spring

"Takes the food right out of your mouth."

'Don't you think it's just a little weird to have a cemetery for houseplants?!'

'What great fall blooms. These flowers make yummy pumpkin pie spice!'

"I can tell it's new because it's alive."

A drooping plant is watered via an IV tube.

"Go ahead, tell him... Your friend is correct. Nuts are fruit. Why won't you ever believe me?"

"What are you in for?"

"Rats, I thought he'd like my science project!"

'Let's go to the Horticultural Show and taste the exotic flowers...'

Tree Identification Field Guide...

"It's cute that yours has a Fire Island share, mine has the East Hampton Dream House."

Balding gnomes

'Oh, really? I work for little softy.'

So those are your 'weapons of mass destruction? - Slugs?

"Remember that half-dead sansevieria you put out on the balcony back in January of 1994, pal?"

'Take me to your weeder!'

'Oh yes I talk to them all the time. Except the aspidistra. Not since the argument.'

The tulip knew it was in trouble when called by its scientific name.

'I SAID you'd threatened to throw them out once too often!'

David Attenborough

"Have you got any man eating plants?"

'Selling a stock and marking a profit is better than selling it at a loss, if only for the bragging rights.'

A Salmon Lie

"I have my green thumb, thanks to my black 'n' blue knees!"

You have the flu. Get plenty of rest and avoid lots of fluids.