Boss's Bestie Gifts

"I have good news and bad news, Tom. The good news is good for me. The bad news is bad for you."

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

'What's wrong now?'

"Yes, you have given 100% to this company. But, over the five years you've worked here that's only 20% a year."

Well, I see Wilcox is finally using his head...as a paperweight!

"Since you somehow managed to get past my moat, I'll give you a few minutes."

"Of course we'll give you a choice. Would you prefer to lose your job to outsourcing or to robotic automation?"

'Everyone's true personality comes out on dress-down Fridays, even the boss's.'

To determine which department would be awarded the Billings contract, employees agreed to play a best-of-five dodgeball tournament.

". . . so, all I really need to do is change one word."

InOutYada Yada.

'He's faxing like there's no tomorrow.'

That endless instant between initial eye contact and conscious recognition.

'But before we move on, allow me to belabor the point even further...'

"Does this desk make my job look big?"

"The camera is mounted on your desk for a reason. There's been some paperclips missing, and we think you're the culprit."

"I'm going in."

Race for Results

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

Lemonade $500 a glass! 'I wanna own a Ferrari by the time I'm 16.'

"I'm leaving a little early as I wasn't in quite so late this morning."

Bring your problems to work day.

Your supervisor says you have been giving 100 every week, but at the rate of 20 a day.

"It's no good Charlie, I'm done for! You've got to go it alone, Charlie. You've got to go on and nail that presentation! Nail it for me!"

'I should have told you, every Friday senior partners get to do the Prosecco Polonaise.'

"You're probably wondering why I called you in here today..."

"I can't believe it! In all my years in corporate business, yours must be the worst case of paper cuts I have ever seen."

If you know that you would benefit from a 15 minute nap during the day, do your best to take one.

"When I make a joke, that light will turn on. That's your cue to laugh."

'Have you heard the news about Susan in logistics?...'

STRIP Hambone: Looking at problems

"No need to rush. Take all weekend if you must."

"Excuse me, but is this the canteen or the office?"

"This is Abramson, our new piñata."

"He's not good with criticism."