Boomerang Kid Comedians Gifts

"Uh oh. It's the kids...and they're flying back!"

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

'He has your nose and my ears.'

No one has ever been accused of choosing bad relatives.

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

Bless me father, for I have sinned...my brother did it.'

'Why can't we trade him to that lady for her two little girls?'

Emotion of Mr. Kenwigs on hearing the family news from Nicholas

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

Human Behavior Institute. Out Experiencing Lunch.

'Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!'

Graph Your Relatives!

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

"He is throwing another of his 'hissy fits' again!"

'We haven't had a family get-together like this since we were kids - Hey! Where are mum and dad?'

'Look, Dad, I made a pair of boots out of your chest waders.'

Growth Charts

"Dad's barbeucuing again so Mom's got the pizza place on speed dial."

'MUM, go and get Daddy, there's another knight coming: This is so much fun!'

"Oh look—he fell asleep when you told me about your day."

"I finally cleaned my room. You don't think she'll look in the yard, do you?"

"Hello? Guys? Okay, I've had a long day and I'm very tired, so no pranks this time. I'm serious... guys?!"

"Here's our little bundle of joy."

"Raymond's prospects look good, Daddy. . . He's pretty sure he's picked all six lotto numbers!"

Boomerang cow.

"Mum, Dad, I think I might be bipedal."

"My parents said that until I find a job and move out they will not recognize me as a sentient being."

"Okay, you can keep 'em, but if they grow any bigger, they'll have to sleep in the kitchen."

'Think about it guys: We're fed and sheltered, why would we ever think about leaving the nest?'