Bookish Pun Lover Pillows

"Please keep the library clean. We don't want you to be ashamed of your shelves."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"He refuses to use these now they've made them gender nonspecific."

"Think about the honey."

'I see adventure in your future. Yes. You're going to be a culinary adventure.'

I came, I saw, I partied!

Carpool lane (a car driving into a long pool).

I was starting a new chapter in my life and I tripped over a footnote.

Kind- hearted, nature-loving Jeff built a new improved bird table.

Ghost Scare-apy Sessions

A Brain Drain

No, that's "Virginia Wolf" with one "o."

The marketing is out there now. People all know the pizzas are prepared on the premises. So why no customers?

'It's only four acres but we're glad we bought it - he's always wanted to be an expert in his own field.'

'And in conclusion...'

Tunnel of Accountants: "You've been selected for a random audit."

"I'm afraid we're going to have to remove your appendix."

'I'm writing you a prescription for some people soup.'

"And another thing, it's real cool in the summer!"

Hotness

Literate Dogs.

'In the circumstances, I think we should skip the housewarming party.'

"I washed my kilt last night , now I can't do a fling with it!"

"I said, ‘I hit on your sister!’"

Weather forecast

Hell's Schlegel

"Waiter, there aren't any flies in my soup!"

"Of course you're bored, sweetie. It's the fin de siècle."

'You give me goose bumps!'

The static electric eel is very rare.

RIP John Le Carre

Larry's Literary Market.

'It's for my teacher. Do you have one with love spelled right?'

'No, I said put the money in the Caymen Islands.'

"Remember I promised you some fun and games in the bedroom?"