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Plagiarism by Billy Widmore It was the best of times it was the worst of times. Four score and seven years ago, Quoted the raven nevermore...

Multi-Generational Books

Jack London

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

"I'm not angry, but in the future I’d prefer it if you chewed up her Sue Graftons, not my P.G. Wodehouses."

Guide reading book called 'A farewell to arms.'

'Hard to follow...'

CHANNEL THIRTEEN TAKES ON THE NETWORKS

"Beyond the fine starting salary, the job of a poet laureate at this corporation also carries with it an excellent medical and dental plan."

"Now you're just being a jerk!"

'Bront?saurus.'

Book Worm

Litteratti K9s.

'Wait a minute... What the heck is frankincense?'

'We know it's good...we had an excellent ghost writer.'

"I'm afraid we're going to have to remove your appendix."

'...and what's more, they're all first editions.'

'Hey! I just started my James Patterson novel and I'm on chapter 97!' 'You read 20 pages already?'

Will Self deprecation

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times..."

"Friday, YOU were my Secret Santa?"

The Farmer Sutra.

"Care for an oxymoron?"

"What a success! We've sold all our copies. You're a great team! Let's go for beer, pizza and crisps - my treat!"

"More please."

Meet The Ghostwriter

'You will write a book, but it won't be on Oprah's recommended list.'

After years of chasing and fighting they discovered it was all just a misunderstanding.

'I want something by Anais Nin... but not the naughty Anais Nin!'

"The only way to create a sensation as an essayist these days is to write something mean bout cats."

"Hail to thee, blithe spirit!"

Larry's Literary Market.

'Personally, I think your idea of writing nursery rhymes is dumb, Mother.'

"No, no, that's my copy of 'Being and Time'—look at the teeth marks along 'Heidegger'."