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Meet The Ghostwriter

'Oooh, man... I meant to express that as an interior monologue!' ~ Fred, left to his own literary devices.

"Now you're just being a jerk!"

In writing War and Peace, Tolstoy was going for the big laugh, but the more he wrote, the more elusive it became.

'I started to read the headline but then my mind wandered.'

"Frank's trying to outreach to people who only come to the library to use the washroom!"

'Fyodor Dostoevsky sends weeks describing Alexy Karamazov's quest for a white whale, and then discards the entire chapter."

Remainder table.

"Books about unicorns? Fantasy section. Next to the biographies of honest politicians."

"Wake up – you're Tolkien in your sleep again."

Pat Barker

"What a success! We've sold all our copies. You're a great team! Let's go for beer, pizza and crisps - my treat!"

Owl reads "Who's Who"

'No Entrance, Sartre's Prequel to No Exit.'

Bookstore.

Book Worm

'I want something by Anais Nin... but not the naughty Anais Nin!'

'It's beautifully written. However, we need big-ass coffee table books.'

'If you can't afford one, the court will assign a ghost writer to handle any book deals.'

Prisoner in cell wearing an iron basque.

A man nosily hammering in a silence sign.

Larry's Literary Market.

Warren Pease meets Jay Nayre and Howard Send.

Would you have this in yellow?

Guide reading book called 'A farewell to arms.'

'Hard to follow...'

'So you're taking out these CDs, two CD-Roms and one DVD ... but what's this thing with paper pages?'

Eat, Pray, Love Hot Dogs

Reference Desk/Obscure Reference Desk

"You're going to hate yourself."

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Grim Reaper Buying CDs...

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."