Literature Humor Aficionado T-Shirts

"No, no, that's my copy of 'Being and Time'—look at the teeth marks along 'Heidegger'."

Edgar Allen Poe

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

Multi-Generational Books

Trilby - 'The old studio'.

"No chips, but I did snag the new Hiaasen."

Jack London

Archeologist Deciphers Limerick Heiroglyphs

"You have no idea what it's like to be a 'just between you and me' person in a 'just between you and I' world."

"The next song was sixties anthem for the youth subculture of revolution, anarchy and anti-establishment...and can now be heard in elevators worldwide."

"He was a big man, but he moved like a cat."

Frontispiece to 'Dombey and Son'

'He speaks for our entire generation. Pity he's such a bore...'

My Literary Influences

Ironing Punctuation

"Wait, wait, back up, back up. Who the #!@! is George Orwell?"

"I'm not angry, but in the future I’d prefer it if you chewed up her Sue Graftons, not my P.G. Wodehouses."

Trilby - 'The sweet melodic phrase.'

Sherlock Holmes with a magnifying glass.

'Oh no! Is this a blogger I saw before me?'

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

'Excellent job, Fenwick, especially the part where you employ Magic Realism to fudge third-quarter earnings!'

"Would you like to see the markup?"

How a poet works

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

Don't you see, Kreutzer? That's why we have all this literature. So you won't duplicate an experiment that's already been done, and there's no reason at all why you should be duplicating Smedly's experiments. After all, he shares a lab with you.

LIBRARY, 'Sorry, Mr. Wimble -- you've had just about enough Kafka for one day.'

My Aunt's Left Hook Expels Uriah From The Chaise

'Ignore them, Charlie. They're nothing but philistines. I liked your poetry, truly I did!'

Short story. Collected works. The Tolstoy gulp