Bookish Cat Friend Gifts

The practical psychopath

"I only scratch up the furniture hoping they'll replace it with something more stylish."

"Do you remember ordering 1,345 cans of tuna?"

"Odd, since neither of us overfeeds her by even the smallest amount."

"Cat-astrophic Trifecta" "I pooped in Mona's Jimmy Choo handbag." "I knocked over grampa's ashes." "I buried a Barbie in the litter box."

Snooze buttons for cat owners

'A bed just isn't the same without a person in it.'

Mog The Week

"It's okay. I love hopping in bags!"

Meow Power Demolition team.

"Is listening to her talk about her feelings worth a tiny can of tuna?"

'Cat Lit. You?'

Litteratti K9s.

"Would you mind moving to your doggy bed? I'd like to sit in my chair. I know you can hear me. Your book is upside down."

K9 Literati.

"I'm sick of writing book reports on spec."

Cat with Crown.

Dog Training. Most of the choices the dogs made for their book reports are logical. The labrador retriever chose "Catch-22." The terrier, who loves to dig, chose "Journey to the Center of the Earth." The basset hound is doing his on "The Howling." and the shar-pei picked "A Wrinkle in Time." But the dachshund's choice confuses me. Even with the ground-hugging physique, he selected "Wuthering Heights."

"No thank you - The people who live here, worship me. . !!"

Why cat yoga classes don't work

Zen Kitten

'Who are you and what do you want?'

"He's very finicky."

"No, no, that's my copy of 'Being and Time'—look at the teeth marks along 'Heidegger'."

"The meaning of life is cats."

"It just comes naturally. I have good people skills."

'She's killing me with kindness!'

'Nature abhors a vacuum. Nature is my cat.'

A cat composer

No, I don't need a doggy bag, but how about a kitty bag?

101 uses of a dead cat: chopping board.

New chess piece: Cat - It can go wherever it wants, or not go anywhere at all.

''No' means, 'Don't do that while I'm in the room.''

'So...your shelf or mine?...' (a book in a bar trying a pickup line)

'Could you sign it 'anonymous'? It's for a friend and I don't want to ruin the surprise.'