Book Tour Enthusiast Gifts

Knowing your audience

First Novels.

Victor Hugo

Reading my Critics

Voltaire

"Now I really hate poetry."

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

'So Captain Ahab, I put it to you that you were deliberately stalking my client!'

"I'm in a catch-23 situation."

"I try to write a little bit every day."

George Orwell

"Author does not do tricks."

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

"So, hw ws yr smmr?"

Charles Darwin Book Signing.

'Rehab centre' "I'm addicted to Irvine Welsh"

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

"Hmm...I can see a best-selling book and a movie deal out of this..."

"My only love sprung from my only hate!"

What Harper Lee's REALLY been up to all these years

'Meet the author with her collaborators'

"Maybe I don't like stunning debuts."

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

"Tracey, this is Gene. He also read the Nancy Reagan book in unbound galleys."

'Sorry, Marx, but your writing ability doesn't meet our needs.'

'He wrote a whole book on how to play a slot machine. I'm anxious for his next one: How to Set an Alarm Clock.'

The Book Lover

"Skip the funny voices tonight—O.K., Dad?"

"I'm in children's books, myself."

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

"Heart transplant surgery waiting room"

'According to this, you owe $57.32 in late fees for the book 'Getting By on a Shoestring Budget'.'

'Shakespeare, what do you say we write a comedy?'