Book Safety Expert Gifts

Caution falling books

A young Don King

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

would you like it with extra botulism and a touch of salmonella?

"Lori, go ahead and toss in 'Lolita.' Now, what's next?" "We'll need more lighter fluid." "'The Lottery' is devils work." "We must protect the children." "Book burning club"

"Have you met my bodyguard?"

'You know that bottle of ink that was standing on the desk...?'

"According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything."

Frankenfish

Genetically-Modified Foods: Are they safe?

"Trust me, with me in charge, your kid will behave and be safe..."

"But for an update in GM products in farming we have a spokescarrot."

"We've completely child-proofed our home."

To prevent geese from flying toward its planes, Jupiter Airlines made some key design changes,

'Okey, suit yourself but I saw the library book move.'

"Dear God, no! Not her first edition of 'Franny and Zooey'! You've ruined us!!"

"I failed driver's ed....Apparently there's like this rule about rear-ending a police car!"

"Knock! Knock! Who's there? What, seriously? You mean you haven't installed personal security cameras?"

"Eating the mistakes is a tough job, but somebody has to do it."

Library sections - Music, Art ... Crime (missing) History..

Menifee Madness

"I warned him being online was dangerous."

Superhero Rescues Books.

"What about this book, boss?" "Yeah, get rid of it—it's got too many long words in it."

This place is crawling with backstabbers, but they don't worry me.

Now do you see the point of regular electrical checks?

'You'll have to wait until I find my keys.'

Library Closures.

"Your nightstand must be the most ambitious piece of furniture in the whole house."

Reading a biography makes me feel like a surgeon. I'm holding a person's life in my hands.

'Now don't you go worrying about it. It's only communicable to children!'

You Left The Gas On...

"Yes, Gary, I'm sure the school hasn't banned your math textbook. Now, go back to class."

You shouldn't be embarrassed

Black belts in the ancient art of avoidance