Book Borrower With A Twist Gifts

"'Principles of Time Management' was due back six months ago."

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

hard-boiled egg...

"Max! Oh, my God! There's like a billion moving ideas in there!"

Do it yourself books.

'It must be a problem of interpretation. I've read this book DOZENS of times, and I keep winding up here!'

The Da Vinci Cod

K9 Literati

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

Things I've learned...

Publisher. "The Laws of Motion " is a little dry for a title, Mr. Newton. How about something catchier like "When Push Comes to Shove"?

Tree Funeral

"Do you think Trump has read 'Contemporary Relativism and the Death of Meaning'?"

"Don't be a sentimental fool, Harker!"

Bug reading book has antennae that are lights.

A man reading 'Beach Chairs for Dummies'

"This is the way I like it - I pretend to be asleep and he doesn't bother me."

'Are you writing my symptoms, or is that your autobiography?'

Who says religion can't have a sense of humour.

"I just remembered where I left my chew toy."

People I've Met At Parties Whose Names I've Forgotten

'Good book?'

"So, you're telling me that you can't return, 'How to be a secret agent' because the final chapter instructed you to eat it after reading?"

1,000 places to see after you die by Shirley Maclaine.

A man uses a reaching tool to keep a book far enough out for him to read it.

"Convicts selling novels from prison? At least that could never happen here, eh Jones?"

The book is so much better than the film..

Pastoring for Dummies

"Do you have any bedtime stories that aren't about the former Yugoslavia?"

The Colonel at home.

"No, no, that's my copy of 'Being and Time'—look at the teeth marks along 'Heidegger'."

'Your entire library consists of nothing but tabloids bound in Corinthian leather?'

"Poetry would be way more accessible if they just said what they meant."