Book Thief With A Twist Gifts

Self-help section

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

hard-boiled egg...

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

"Max! Oh, my God! There's like a billion moving ideas in there!"

Do it yourself books.

'It must be a problem of interpretation. I've read this book DOZENS of times, and I keep winding up here!'

K9 Literati

The Da Vinci Cod

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

'Of course, I'm argumentative.. I'm PRE-LAW, for goodness sake!'

Publisher. "The Laws of Motion " is a little dry for a title, Mr. Newton. How about something catchier like "When Push Comes to Shove"?

Tree Funeral

"Don't be a sentimental fool, Harker!"

Bug reading book has antennae that are lights.

Have you ever read Dickens, minion? No. Businessman of the Year. Armstrong Maynard. How about Upton Sinclair? John Steinbeck? Who? … Marx? Mark's what? Thank you for reminding me why I hired you, minion. Can I take my weekly lunch break today instead of Friday?

A man reading 'Beach Chairs for Dummies'

'Are you writing my symptoms, or is that your autobiography?'

Book Thief in True Crime Department

"This is the way I like it - I pretend to be asleep and he doesn't bother me."

"Read the book!""See the movie!"

Who says religion can't have a sense of humour.

A new case, Ernie...On a lark, two young girls broke into a museum and stole a half-dozen Peter Breugel paintings of Hades. Chicks nick six styx pics for kicks!

"I just remembered where I left my chew toy."

'Good book?'

"So, you're telling me that you can't return, 'How to be a secret agent' because the final chapter instructed you to eat it after reading?"

1,000 places to see after you die by Shirley Maclaine.

People I've Met At Parties Whose Names I've Forgotten

A man uses a reaching tool to keep a book far enough out for him to read it.

"Convicts selling novels from prison? At least that could never happen here, eh Jones?"

The book is so much better than the film..

Pastoring for Dummies

"Do you have any bedtime stories that aren't about the former Yugoslavia?"