Bookworm Caught In A Twist Gifts

Flu Shots

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

hard-boiled egg...

"Max! Oh, my God! There's like a billion moving ideas in there!"

'It must be a problem of interpretation. I've read this book DOZENS of times, and I keep winding up here!'

The Da Vinci Cod

K9 Literati

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

'Of course, I'm argumentative.. I'm PRE-LAW, for goodness sake!'

Publisher. "The Laws of Motion " is a little dry for a title, Mr. Newton. How about something catchier like "When Push Comes to Shove"?

Bug reading book has antennae that are lights.

"Don't be a sentimental fool, Harker!"

'Are you writing my symptoms, or is that your autobiography?'

A man reading 'Beach Chairs for Dummies'

"This is the way I like it - I pretend to be asleep and he doesn't bother me."

Have you ever read Dickens, minion? No. Businessman of the Year. Armstrong Maynard. How about Upton Sinclair? John Steinbeck? Who? … Marx? Mark's what? Thank you for reminding me why I hired you, minion. Can I take my weekly lunch break today instead of Friday?

"Read the book!""See the movie!"

Who says religion can't have a sense of humour.

'I think I'll wait for the movie.'

"Hey, I'll download them to my tablet too."

"So, you're telling me that you can't return, 'How to be a secret agent' because the final chapter instructed you to eat it after reading?"

1,000 places to see after you die by Shirley Maclaine.

"Convicts selling novels from prison? At least that could never happen here, eh Jones?"

The book is so much better than the film..

"I just remembered where I left my chew toy."

'An alternative to having me psychoanalyze you is to write a book and have the critics do it.'

A man uses a reaching tool to keep a book far enough out for him to read it.

"I read an unforgettable book! Unfortunately, I don't remember the title and the author..."

Pastoring for Dummies

"Do you have any bedtime stories that aren't about the former Yugoslavia?"

The Colonel at home.

"Poetry would be way more accessible if they just said what they meant."

"No, no, that's my copy of 'Being and Time'—look at the teeth marks along 'Heidegger'."

My Youtube channel's taking off. Mine too, little buddy. You have a Youtube channel? Of course, it's got 12.8 million subscribers. I accompanies my best-selling MANuals book series. I post a video per day. There's "Pickup Artist Mondays," "Man-Grooming Tuesdays," "Relationship Escape-Artist Wednesdays" ... "Become an Alpha in Five Minutes Thursdays" ... "New Advances in Speedos Fridays," and "Using Quantum Physics and the Multiverse Theory to Explain Why that Lady She Caught You with was Actuall