Book Borrower With A Twist Pillows

"'Principles of Time Management' was due back six months ago."

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

hard-boiled egg...

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

"Max! Oh, my God! There's like a billion moving ideas in there!"

Do it yourself books.

'It must be a problem of interpretation. I've read this book DOZENS of times, and I keep winding up here!'

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

The Da Vinci Cod

K9 Literati

Things I've learned...

Tree Funeral

Bug reading book has antennae that are lights.

"Don't be a sentimental fool, Harker!"

"Do you think Trump has read 'Contemporary Relativism and the Death of Meaning'?"

"This is the way I like it - I pretend to be asleep and he doesn't bother me."

A man reading 'Beach Chairs for Dummies'

'Are you writing my symptoms, or is that your autobiography?'

Who says religion can't have a sense of humour.

People I've Met At Parties Whose Names I've Forgotten

'Good book?'

A man uses a reaching tool to keep a book far enough out for him to read it.

"So, you're telling me that you can't return, 'How to be a secret agent' because the final chapter instructed you to eat it after reading?"

The book is so much better than the film..

"Convicts selling novels from prison? At least that could never happen here, eh Jones?"

"I just remembered where I left my chew toy."

"Do you have any bedtime stories that aren't about the former Yugoslavia?"

Pastoring for Dummies

The Colonel at home.

"Poetry would be way more accessible if they just said what they meant."

"No, no, that's my copy of 'Being and Time'—look at the teeth marks along 'Heidegger'."

'Let's face it, we've been getting desperate for new titles.'

"We argue a lot about money--her library fines, my antique car collection..."