Book Beginner Gifts

'where do you plug it in?'

"This is a selection from my novel about a writers' group that has one real writer and five wanna-be b*****s."

"First time pruning?"

'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'

Today we learned to count to one.

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

Please buzz off. That's my flower!

'I made a hundred on the Spanish test. Gracias.'

"That was too many fresh original voices for one night."

"I'm surprised, Caswell. I thought you were a happy camper."

"This is my first book, but if I like it I may buy another in the near future."

'Ask your doctor if getting your fat butt off the couch might be right for you!'

'Alex we talked about this, you can't bring live things home from the lake. . . no buts, they don't want to leave the lake. Let your little friends go.'

"I packed the cooking gear like you told me, Dad...where do I plug it in?"

'Quantitative easing' made easy for dummies.

"Since you're a computer geek, I suggest lifting the box the weights came in."

'Today, in kindergarten, we learned how to count to one.'

'Plastic Surgery for Beginners'

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

'You may well, Ms. Ferris, one day write a 'Fifty Shades of Grey' bonkbuster, but today your account is one shade of red.'

I really hope the agent likes my submission... - '' - 'This is perfect.' - '' - 'Absolutley perfect.'

Karate club.

'Let's face it,Edgar.you and mother nature don't have anything in common.'

"I've discovered I don't have a head for figures."

"I'm really serious about exercising. Last year I only went to the gym twice, once to join and once to renew."

'I'd track the cow's production on Excel if I could turn on the computer.'

'First time fly fishing?'

"I went through the pain barrier pulling my socks on."

Would you have this in yellow?

Gardening for Beginners - 'Carnivorous plants don't like dog biscuits, I'm afraid!'

Maze for Beginners

Reading for Beginners

"Let's tow the trailer to a new state and make a fresh start."

'I've decided that I'm going to get more exercise. Could you get my barbells for me?'

IRS: File Tax Returns Here At Your Own Risk