Boo Seekers T-Shirts

I didn't think I would, but I miss being booed.

Muscles

Ghost School.

"Existentialist Trail. Get lost then found. Nietzsche Park System"

"We're exclusively delts."

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

Bench Press Accident

"Empty again? What's going on around here anyway?"

"My wife has always encouraged me... ...to quit this stupid dream and get a real job." ... "You have a wife?"

Lighthouse Beam.

Exercise Bars

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

'Hey, Bob, can you get this itch on my chin? It's driving me nuts.'

"That's right - 'What doesn't kill me makes me stronger.' You just keep on thinking that..."

He's slow and can't see out of one eye, but watch out for his left hook.

Entering Megalopolis - next Bucolic area 162 miles.

'C'mon, guys. That old geezer just leg pressed 400 pounds when he got up from the chair.'

"Stop asking me. I don't know who's a good boy."

"Pray only for peace, love, strength and forgiveness. Never, ever spam the Lord."

Health Nut with a 60-Pack

"Whadya know, we're being audited."

"Holy hell. I should not have based my whole personality around this..."

"...And have we been working on our upper body or our lower body?"

'I think it's time to concentrate a little more on your upper body!'

Macho man body building club.

Joe's Gym: 'Can anyone here open this jar of pickles!?'

"I'm going to New Zealand for a walk."

"I spy something blue."

"It seemed bigger in the brochure."

"Holy water, holy water...."

Truthfully, I'm just a frustrated insurance agent …

Not-Quite-Quick-Enough Sand

'When they said a cruise with a 'balcony view' I didn't think they meant a view of the balcony.'

"Any other strengths?"