Bonus Bungler Gifts

'The president wants us to take more risks. I say the riskiest thing we can do now is to give ourselves another bonus.'

"I've decided to step down as CEO so I can spend more time with my money."

The Evolution of the Bonus

"My boss had security escort me out of the office today. I'm worried this means I won't be getting a bonus."

'But the good news is, I still get a big bonus.'

'Ready for your bonus, Bob?'

City Centre Development - "...We've spent all the money on the model."

"It drives me MAD when people whine about the amount top management get paid. . ."

'Guess who made a bushel today?'

'It's a demonstration by retired CEOs who refuse to give up their bonuses.'

'I chose here since heaven won't allow you to take your bonus and golden parachute with you.'

'If congress regulates obscene bonuses, isn't that a violation of the first amendment?'

'Your bonus as promised.'

'Remember Nitro, keep the engine running and once we've bagged the bonus cheques you floor the peddle.'

"At bonus time, just don't forget where you get your intellectual property."

"Your Easter bonuses are hidden throughout corporate headquarters."

"No Jenkins, that's NOT a sales graph - it's my salary increase."

The ground cracking beneath a banker's feet because his bonus is so big and heavy.

'I take it his performance review went well.'

We don't think your 12 million dollar bonus is obscene. We think it's 12 million little ways to say 'I love you.'

'Oh dear. I seem to have put the decimal point in the wrong place again.'

'I've got my wallet here in the left inside pocket. Now I got a bonus and bought a bigger wallet which needs more space. Would you please remove my heart?'

'Tell me more about the obscene bonus package.'

'This potion will get you promoted but I can't guarantee a bonus.'

Loose change fund: 'You get to keep whatever you can grab with one hand.'

'$800,000 per year? Is that with or without an incentive bonus?'

'Oh quit griping and be thankful we even got a bonus this year!'

'You're addicted to big bonuses. But the good news is there's a patch to treat that.'

"Will my bonus look big in this?"

"You've been vital to our great year. Your bonus is whatever you can carry out by midnight."

"I've been too busy investing my enormous salary to be bothered running the company."

'We're with you half way, sir. We'll return our government bailout if we can keep our executive bonuses.'

'I'd like a job where I'm hated for having obscene amounts of money.'

"The government wants us to wear these bonus hazard suits."

"If I don't get a bonus from my bank, I'll quit and flip burgers!"