Bone Builder Gifts

Skeleton model kit assembly instructions.

'Milk is all right, but if you really want calcium...'

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

Painting by the numbers for adults

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

Muscles

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

Powerful Love.

I'm Bored With Educational Toys

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

'I found the termites!'

Networking

Another All Steel Home Built By Wit Construction.

"We're having one heck of a time building that trapezoidal thing of yours..."

God's Subcontractors

Bodybuilder pumping himself up.

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

"....But then I find myself saying, what if there isn't more to life than this?"

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

The rock caricature

"Werewolves of London..."

Bench Press Accident

Biceps, muscles and brawn

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

'The housing market may be flat, but pillow-fort construction is blooming!'

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

Crane operator Jimmy Morrison liked to break in new guys by giving them what he called a 'sky wedgie.'

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

Lego Haircut